AFL Outsider: are you happy, fans?

NAB Cup ... good for some, confusing for others. Source: Mitch Bear / News Limited

Footy's back, real footy, which means many of you have big smiles on your faces. But tell me this. As a fan, are you happy?

Are you happy that a player can no longer slide head first at the football in an act of desperation?

An act that is as selfless and inspirational as it is foolish, if like me, you resent any physical contact that could cause bruising or bring the sight of blood out of your nostrils. Gary Rohan wouldn’t want the game to change because he was the unlucky one. I don’t think.

Are you happy that a player can no longer have his eyes on the ball, jump in the air to grab the footy and in an act of physicality, smash bodies with an opposition player (while eyes are still on the footy) causing said player to hit the turf with a thud, leaving him dazed and confused?

Then after 20 minutes of following a finger and walking in a straight line, be ruled out of the game concussed. But, because he ended up with concussion, your contact was deemed negligible and excessive, therefore giving you a two- or three-week ban? All because you work hard in the gym and are of good size. Good behaviour, bad behaviour, loaded pistols and other malarkey gets you upgraded to 4 weeks. I still love ya Jacky Ziebell.

Are you happy that players can no longer tackle someone without them dropping their knees and being rewarded a momentum based in the back? Or shrugging their shoulders and giving off the effect the tackle was high? "Bloody Selwoods," says Clarko.

Are you happy that players can no longer tackle in the manner that every schoolboy was taught; pin the dominant arm and don't allow it to be freed, as freedom will result in disposal. If you do this and do it well, you risk being pinged for a sling tackle and your reward for a technically efficient tackle? Suspension. Bad luck young Trengove.

Are you happy that the development of our game is being stunted due to those over-governing it being concerned about the speed of play? Isn't this the natural evolution of man? Look at the NBA and the physical development of those now dominating the game? Michael Jordan was, and is, the greatest we have ever seen because he was a physical specimen not seen at the two-guard position; human the size of 6’7, fastest player in the association, who could also jump the highest.

Physically, there is now a Michael Jordan at the two spot on most teams. If you're a basketball fan and you're jumping out of your skin because I am comparing players to MJ; keep in mind I said PHYSICALLY! LeBron James exceeds the physical capabilities of MJ. Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant is 6'10 and spends time at the two-guard, Paul George, Tracey McGrady (six years ago).

What have the NBA done to stop the speed and physicality of these wrecking balls? They disallowed zone defense for a year because it makes for boring ball, but outside of that, they have allowed the natural evolution of the players to make the game that much more exciting.

Are you happy that on the day you read this, Andrew Demetriou will receive $5,150.68? Dear AFL – take note of what the NBA has done. They made a change, it didn't work, so they binned it.

The fans are now happier than ever and the NBA is seen as one of the great global games. As much as you attempt to fool us that the AFL is a global game, with your smart marketing campaigns, showing us Tanzanian kids dropping their soccer balls in the street to watch AFL games on HD TV's; we are not fooled. Coz we are smart. And we are not happy that every year there seems to be four different rule changes that the players have to get their heads around.

This period of transition is actually detrimental to your brand as the standard of football throughout this time is sloppy and all I saw throughout the NAB Cup were players arguing with umpires and coaches throwing their arms in the air mouthing obscenities through glass windows. If you want wide-spread confusion and uncertainty from your players, coaches and supporters, carry on. If not, read this, then call me and we can discuss it - for a small fee.
 
Plus HD TVs and Tanzania aren't exactly a realistic pairing.

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